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My Mom Passed Away – I’m Hoping Some Good Can Come From It
Hi Dawgnation. I’ve had a very difficult last two weeks and wanted to share this in the hopes of impacting even just one Dawg fan.
My Mom (79 years old) was not feeling well and went into the hospital on January 12th and was eventually diagnosed with Acute Lymphoblastic Leukemia (ALL) – very aggressive and late stage. She didn’t want any treatment and doctors said aggressive treatment, which would’ve been brutal, would not cure her and likely would add only a few (painful) months.
Untreated they thought she might have weeks or a few months to live, but they didn’t really know. I flew down to Florida from New York on Saturday, January 18th and ended up spending a week – spending time with her, trying to arrange her affairs and fighting with hospital administrators who were trying to discharge her before we could find an appropriate facility that had a bed for her and could handle her end of life care.
I managed to get her admitted to a wonderful hospice facility and many of my/her family and grandkids came down to see her. We had great visits – the best late Friday night (January 24th) with my brother and I and our wives and a few of Mom’s 6 grandkids. She mentioned how weak she’d been feeling, but then she perked up and we shared stories and laughed.
My family and I all left Florida late Saturday night or Sunday morning, and she passed peacefully early Monday morning (January 27th). My family flew back down (and my kids in from UGA) on Wednesday for Mom’s funeral on Thursday (January 30th). Mom said she wanted to go quickly and it seemed like she just let go after she got a chance to see all of us.
I just got back home yesterday and one of the comforts/routines that I got back to late last night was finally getting back on Dawgnation. Folks have mentioned before what I have always thought, that one of the great things about this forum is that many of us from all over and with very different backgrounds and beliefs can come together and enjoy our shared love of the Dawgs (and hatred of the Gators).
Well, love of family is certainly another area that we all can find some common ground. Yet, I am sure that many of you have also had issues with family members (or friends). I had, at times, a lukewarm relationship with my Mom since her and my Dad divorced when I was a teenager, but her illness and the time I got to spend with her made me appreciate all the good she did for me (and others).
Anyway, I assume very few of you have made it this far, but if you have, below is an excerpt from the end of my Eulogy. I hope you will read it – my Mom was a kind, gentle and spiritual (though not very religious) woman who always worried about everyone else, but herself. I hope her death can impact (even one person) by the words I spoke below.
Thank you Dawgnation. Enjoy each day with your loved ones. And, of course, Go Dawgs!
Excerpt from Eulogy:
MOM WOULD ALWAYS FIND THE POSITIVE IN ALL SITUATIONS AND WOULD SUGGEST THAT EVERY BAD THING THAT HAPPENED COULD’VE BEEN WORSE. AND SHE WOULD ALWAYS SAY THAT “EVERYTHING HAPPENS FOR A REASON.” THIS USED TO FRUSTRATE ME, BUT EVENTUALLY I LEARNED THIS WAS GREAT WISDOM – AND A GREAT WAY TO LIVE.
IT WAS A HORRIBLE DISEASE SHE WAS STRICKEN WITH, BUT SHE WAS AT PEACE WITH HER PASSING. SHE DIDN’T WANT AGGRESSIVE AND FRUITLESS TREATMENT – SHE SAID SHE WANTED TO JUST “LET IT BE.”
SHE JUST FELT IT WAS HER TIME. AND THANKFULLY SHE DIDN’T FEEL ANY PAIN AND PASSED QUICKLY AND COMFORTABLY. AND SO, LIKE MOM ALWAYS INSTRUCTED: HOW DO WE FIND A POSITIVE IN ALL THIS?
I’ll GIVE IT A TRY: SHE WAS SICK, BUT SHE WAS ALSO GIVEN A GIFT OF SORTS – SHE HAD A CHANCE, THAT NOT EVERYONE GETS, TO SAY HER GOODBYES TO SO MANY PEOPLE THAT SHE LOVED AND LOVED HER. AND WE ALL GOT A CHANCE TO REFLECT UPON AND TELL HER HOW MUCH WE LOVED HER, HOW MUCH SHE MEANT TO US, AND HOW MUCH SHE INFLUENCED OUR LIVES.
IT GAVE ME THE TIME TO REFLECT AND REMEMBER JUST HOW GREAT OF A MOM SHE WAS DURING MY CHILDHOOD.
OFTEN IT’S AT FUNERALS WHEN WE REALIZE THE IMPACT THAT THE DECEASED HAD ON OUR LIVES, YET MANY TIMES WE NEVER GET THE CHANCE TO TELL THEM (OR HAVEN’T TOLD THEM IN SO LONG).
AS A GIFT TO AND FROM MY MOM, WHEN YOU GO HOME TODAY PLEASE, PLEASE REACH OUT TO SOMEONE, PARTICULARLY AN ESTRANGED FRIEND OR FAMILY MEMBER, AND TELL THEM FOR THE FIRST TIME, OR REMIND THEM, HOW MUCH YOU LOVE THEM OR OF THE LASTING IMPRESSION THEY LEFT ON YOU.
I COULD THINK OF NO BETTER WAY TO HONOR AND CELEBRATE MY MOM’S LIFE.
MY FAMILY AND I THANK YOU ALL SO MUCH.