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Dropping the first kid off at College this week

ChopperChopper Posts: 1,339 ✭✭✭✭✭ Graduate

Mrs. Chopper and I will be getting through this milestone this week. Will be bittersweet of course. I would expect there will be some onion slicing at the exit. Those of you that have been through it what advice do you have?

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Comments

  • BangersBangers Posts: 847 ✭✭✭✭✭ Graduate

    I am not there yet, but I think about how I am going to handle this frequently. Although I think my son will most likely stay home and commute for his schooling, I expect my daughter is going to branch out a bit more. This is not something I will be waiting to tell her until the day I drop her off, but I am going to remind her not to forget who she is and not to believe everything she hears from her professors and new acquaintances (about the world or herself). Just because something might sound right, doesn't make it true. I had plenty of professors spout off all kinds of stupidity and opinion as fact when I was at UGA and I shudder to think about what they say these days. The people I learned the most from where typically GAs.

    Of course I am going to tell her that I love her, will miss her deeply, and I am so proud of her. I also plan to tell her to have fun but keep in mind that if she isn't communicating with her mother and in a real way daily, the money will stop flowing and she will be coming home. Sorry Wpony but that notion of independence is poppycock and bad advice IMO. Why would you need to cut off communication with your parents to gain independence? I have heard too many stories of colleges totally unravelling everything their parents have instilled in their children for their first 18 years in a matter of weeks. Everyone needs someone, especially there parents - the types of needs might change when they move out, but the root of the relationship shouldn't and I do not intend to become her lender. My goal and hope is that my kids never stop confiding in me - not for a single day until the day I die. Behind God, we should be 1 one in their lives until they are married, then we are number 2, until they have their own kids, then we are number 3. Never settle for anything else than a place on their podium.

  • BangersBangers Posts: 847 ✭✭✭✭✭ Graduate
    edited August 13

    I'm glad your daughter turned out so successful and had a great experience wpony714. Nice job mom! (this is not meant to be sarcastic)

    I disagreed with your recommended approached to communication because of lots of stories I have heard from other parents where this did not turn out so well in the recent past. You don't have to agree with my advice, but I wanted Chopper to here my differing opinion / plan after reading your approach and knowing the potential pitfalls. Obviously its up to him to decide what path he wants to take.

    Its also obvious that it takes more than a good bye speech to set her up to be successful on her own… your daughter was most likely successful during her years in college and after for many reasons beyond that and the years of love and direction you provided leading up to it.

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